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Marcus wrote:Good to see you back m8.

*bonus toilet tips section*

When a fart pops out during piss time I try to underline it with a loud and quick whistle. Like a conductor. It impresses everybody.

No charge.

you wee sitting down?

only when erect


I fart most of the time when i piss and also spit AND WHISTLE

does urinating often arouse you?

only when its a three legged dog or an unaware elder

but seriously let me share these two depraved and deprived tales of the loo

one time at a festival I saw a discharged tape worm (not sure its the right term)
the one who eats inside of people - it looked like a facehuggers ugly cousin and both me and the guy infront of the queue immediately threw up when he opened the portaloo door. it was qute long and layed on the seat and stuck down - probably a few feet in lenght. i wouldn't wish it on mourinho tbh.

another time I spent close to 24 hours on a toilet in the jungle of borneo with cock roaches and not enough light. proper saw location and like fourteen years old.

its kind of funny now but duuuuuuuude...

lovely! so someone pood the tape work out? and left it there for all to see?

why 24 hours on a toilet? bad food?

yeah i suppose so. can't imagine the guy or girl wouldn't have found out and done something about it- they just hadn't and the door was halfopen eventhough there was lines of people waiting to go - so there was this weird feeling that something might be wrong - like a possible OD or something. And the smell was alien. Like unimaginable now.


yeah had to eat some water melon because there wasn't a lot of choices due to a not that serious food allergy. Wasn't my mums proudest moment taking her son to a nice trip of the jungle that time. Ironically, the cure was eating a boiled pink banana (no euphomism).

lady gaga without makeup looks like the girl from Die Antwoord

they both look like the missing triplet of the neville bros of manu

wait are you pissing her make up away right now and just noticing it?

wtf, not sure what thread i meant to post that in

i tought it made sence

you can nibble my pink banana if you want

bump

have you ever shat standing up?

if you keep em in your pants your dick is also prolly squeezed between your waist and your pants too so when you're done (or more appropriately think you're done) a good dash of urine is released inside your pants as well

CreamLord wrote:have you ever shat standing up?

how else do you shit outside

topmo3 wrote:if you keep em in your pants your dick is prolly squeezed between your waist and your pants too so when you're done (or more appropriately think you're done) a good dash of urine is released inside your pants as well

no, when you pull your balls out it puts more pressure on ur urethra from underneath the sack b/c there is more stuff out, so the waistband is tighter

by tucking the balls in, the urethra stays unclogged b/c youre actually holding the balls back

thats why give it a little shake after

dickman69 wrote:

CreamLord wrote:have you ever shat standing up?

how else do you shit outside

I usually lay face down