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Went with my GF to her friends house we told her foster parents i was related to her, after about 2 hours her foster mum walked in on me getting some nookie from there foster daughter and my GF luckly we moved in time but we was all naked when she waked in and i had a massive hard on, trying to hide it under a pillow. lol.

The artful dodger wrote:Went with my GF to her friends house we told her foster parents i was related to her, after about 2 hours her foster mum walked in on me getting some nookie from there foster daughter and my GF luckly we moved in time but we was all naked when she waked in and i had a massive hard on, trying to hide it under a pillow. lol.

It's always people on the internet and not me that end up in threesomes

Its not as fun when your caught by the girls foster parent when before you told her you were related so they would let you in, she thought it was insest when she caught us lol.

::G-SUS:: wrote:

adisize wrote:

Firky wrote:

B-90 wrote:i was in the van with some older (70ish) collegue to pic up a delivery. Hes a funny bloke and was saying everytime we drove by someone good looking, things like "i'd tap that" "id give her one" etc i was laughing my head off then i joined in but said " That girl desperatly needs Pounding Look at that short skirt wat a sket bet shes well easy"
Collegue goes bright red and mumbles "thats my grand daughter"

We didnt speak for the rest of the half hour drive.
Still dont know if he was joking.

winner.

srsly

the embarresment was a cross between heart brake, toothache and being shat on by a 40 stone sweatywoman.

i once got caught raping





















by raping i mean with shit on my fingers after i fingered my own arsehole

The artful dodger wrote:Went with my GF to her friends house we told her foster parents i was related to her, after about 2 hours her foster mum walked in on me getting some nookie from there foster daughter and my GF luckly we moved in time but we was all naked when she waked in and i had a massive hard on, trying to hide it under a pillow. lol.

You, your girlfriend and the foster daughter?

Yeah it was her foster parents house and we said i was related to her.

Took me a couple of read through to get it, but yeah it makes sense

Many years ago ,a mate and I had just finished our final O level exam[scottish equivalent of a gcse] and decided to celebrate by going back to his parents place after school and attacking his dad's drinks cabinet whilst his parents were still at work.After downing god knows how many shots of every brightly coloured liquor known to man I staggered the five minutes up the road to my house.I got home in time for dinner and sat at the table just as mum was dishing up the mince and tatties.Before I'd even got one forkful down my gullet there issued from my mouth the most violent explosion of multicoloured spew [exorcist stylee].It went everywhere - on my plate,the tablecloth,my mums plate and my dads shirt.I groggily got up and apologised for not feeling well before staggering to the bathroom and hitting my head off the toilet bowl and collapsing into a puddle of my own puke.
I was so Ill I got 2 days off School and to this day my mum still thinks it was a stomach bug .

wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

adisize wrote: It's always people on the internet and not me that end up in threesomes

they're crap, you always end up giving one lass / lad (however you swing) more attention than the other and then that's where the argument start.

adisize wrote:wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

this thread really gives me the feeling that ive got lots of really, really embarassing memories that ive blocked out lol

Its an odd feeling

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

That's mental!

as if you actually planed on going in!

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

That's mental!

as if you actually planed on going in!

yeah my bastard parents would have forced me to anyways.

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

That's mental!

as if you actually planed on going in!

yeah my bastard parents would have forced me to anyways.

If they believed you had a "stomach bug" then surely they would believe that you went to school, when really you went to town?

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:wait... you have to go back to school after your last exam?

We get like 15 weeks off (including study leave)

I'm on week erm 12 or summat

Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

That's mental!

as if you actually planed on going in!

yeah my bastard parents would have forced me to anyways.

If they believed you had a "stomach bug" then surely they would believe that you went to school, when really you went to town?

you don't know my town man,sitting in school was deffo the better option

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote:

adisize wrote:

bassmonk wrote: Yeah even though it was my last exam there were others still taking place later that week and i was expected to still come into school and study in the library or whatever[this was the 80's:oops:].

That's mental!

as if you actually planed on going in!

yeah my bastard parents would have forced me to anyways.

If they believed you had a "stomach bug" then surely they would believe that you went to school, when really you went to town?

you don't know my town man,sitting in school was deffo the better option

Guessing you aint always been in brizzle then?

I'm from Bradford though... but still it would have to be seriously shit to be worse than my school.

Piston wrote:i once got caught raping
by raping i mean with shit on my fingers after i fingered my own arsehole

Firs thing that made me laugh
Mighty thread but internet made my laughing gland smaller.

Ok embarrassing moment... I was gone swimming once, and they had this really strange toilets.They were very small, very low to the ground, you couldn't even sit on them.
But I really needed to shit so I thought, fuck this I'm just gonna crouch and poop.
So this massive turd comes out, I wipe my arse, look behind me and I see my turd dropped next to the toilet and left a good mark on the toilet.

I didn't clean up though

NilsFG wrote:

Piston wrote:i once got caught raping
by raping i mean with shit on my fingers after i fingered my own arsehole

Firs thing that made me laugh
Mighty thread but internet made my laughing gland smaller.

Ok embarrassing moment... I was gone swimming once, and they had this really strange toilets.They were very small, very low to the ground, you couldn't even sit on them.
But I really needed to shit so I thought, fuck this I'm just gonna crouch and poop.
So this massive turd comes out, I wipe my arse, look behind me and I see my turd dropped next to the toilet and left a good mark on the toilet.

I didn't clean up though

you are classy man