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WARNING INCOMING VENT:

For the last 3 years I've given up my career and sacraficed my income to be a stay at home dad for my lovely daughter. Momma works full time, and I keep up the house, cook meals, teach and play with my daughter all day and do some work for labels online part time. I love my family but most days I really wish I could afford a live in Nanny and a soundproof studio far away from home...

Been trying to cop with an extreamly annoying phenominon over these last few years I like to call "The Hype Meter". Playing and reading with my baby girl = bliss. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, cleaning = no fuss. Preparing meals 3x a day and snacks for my girls, no problems. Wasting time Facebooking = wonderful silence. Listening to other DJ mixes or music quietly in the background = lovely ambience. 90% of the time doing any of the above = everyone is happy and life is peaceful...

BUT I swear within only minute's of opening up a project, putting on a record or try to do anything requiring any critical listening anytime of the day or even late at night... BLODDY HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Either baby starts crying, or loud kids toys come out, phones going off, neighbours yelling at each other, ect, ect.. It almost laughable how consistent this is. But as soon as I close project or turn off my decks = sudden peace again?! I'm not even kidding, I swear I'm cursed. 20 Years of serious music study and practise, up to my ears in production school debt, and thousands of hours of hard earned skill and talent, all now effectively STIFLED. I could cry. I feel like a pressure cooker of creativity about to blow up. I have thousands of dollars invested in music and gear just staring at me, teasing me 18 hours a day. And I feel I get no respect from my family for the hour or two I NEED as an artist and creative soul JUST to keep my soul alive.

I feel like going Van Go some days, just give up music, cut my damn ears off put em in a box and take up painting. The majority of my life since an early age I've invested heavily into music. Now I have a family I always put my family first. How do you other musicians dj's with families do it? How can I effectively have them respect that I need this time to myself? Is asking an hour or two of personal quiet space too much too ask?

Anybody else here know what I'm talking about, going through a similar scenario, or at least empathize? Or is it just me? LOL Please share your experience and/or offer any feedback or advise.

I was going to say....Welcome to The Bell Jar....

seriously though - she will be grown in a few years...enjoy it while you can...


and on a practical note...
..you should set aside time after she is in bed - or when your wife is home...

lock yourself in a room....

Oh - and you said Nanny...
Maybe your wife could spring for 1 or 2 days of a nanny being there to free you up...

What about pre-school..here kids ages 3-5 go for 3 hours a day just for socialization...
...you have to pay of course and 3 hours goes quick...but 3 hours everyday...not bad

This would get better/more results in the Production subforum.

But my 2 cents is that I set aside a time (as much as possible) to produce, and my family and I agree on it, and that's sort of my "sacred time," so to speak.

Sounds like your not getting enough "you" time and when I say that I mean music time. Let your family know you need to creative every now and then, don't think that's too much to ask. Try working out some points in the day where you'll be able to be creative and productive, even if it isn't much its something right? If you've progressed on your work from the day before that's a reason to be positive, even if its not as much as you want.

I can't help you out much from a practical perspective, but I love your tunes. However you can, keep 'em comin' because they're great!

Sonika wrote:This would get better/more results in the Production subforum.

But my 2 cents is that I set aside a time (as much as possible) to produce, and my family and I agree on it, and that's sort of my "sacred time," so to speak.

Aren't you 13?

garethom wrote:

Sonika wrote:This would get better/more results in the Production subforum.

But my 2 cents is that I set aside a time (as much as possible) to produce, and my family and I agree on it, and that's sort of my "sacred time," so to speak.

Aren't you 13?

i think he has 6 daughters, and 2 pet dogs, one of them would've eaten his filth remake..

garethom wrote:

Sonika wrote:This would get better/more results in the Production subforum.

But my 2 cents is that I set aside a time (as much as possible) to produce, and my family and I agree on it, and that's sort of my "sacred time," so to speak.

Aren't you 13?

Yeah....I still have a family (mom, dad, brother)

dude being a member of a family is so not the same thing as "having a family"

It's relevant. Just trying to give some help

this isn't what I really want to hear, as we have a baby that was due 4 days ago (and is late)

Honest no offence Sonika, but think he's on about a slightly different family setting.

On a serious note, it's difficult. I have to feed my 3 cats and my dog, take my dog out to go to the bathroom, come back in, take the cats food away, wait 5-6 hours and do it again... so hard.

Very tricky one mate. Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like maybe you could do with openly discussing it with your partner, trying to arrange a little dedicated time when you can be left alone to make tunes. It will be hard to sort, I'm rekoning the best way is if your partner has another interest you do it so she also gets a similar time, that way you both have a break and vested interest in making it work

my mate who i used to produce with has just had a baby boy and its seriously tough one to balance so i do sympathize. gud luck with sorting tho

I've got a 2-year-old daughter so I can sympathize.

I get my production time in after everyone else has gone to bed (whenever I still have the energy, as I work full-time as well) which often means going to work the next day on about 4 hours sleep which is not particularly healthy. Very occasionally I can get a few hours at the weekend uninterrupted but nowhere near as much as I'd like.

If you care for your little girl all day you're definitely entitled to some me-time in the evenings. It's a constant struggle, but I guess you've just got to take full advantage of whatever time you get. Also if your little girl's 3, then it'll get easier and she'll be going to school soon, or you'll be able to get her to keep herself entertained for longer periods of time I guess.

i have to wait til they go to school and have a little rinsage in the morning, 10am til midday business... you just gotta fit it in!! you'll find a way!

I work at night generally when my wife watches tv or once she`s asleep.

Try and work it out with your girl, maybe when she gets home from work after she's rested her feet and had a break, she could take care of the kid
It's family dude, as Don Corleone said, "a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. "

This thread has convinced me to get a vasectomy.