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Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:14 pm
by jameshk
http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/deep-ins ... ss-dungeon
Ever heard the story about the girl who sleeps with this dude and ends up getting some weird, flesh-eating disease that the doctor tells her can only be contracted through sex with a corpse?

Every once in a while you hear a story of human sexual deviance so extremely left of centre that it literally blows your mind. It’s even more disturbing when you're there at the source, and can see the corroborating evidence for yourself.

One of my best mates from Southend is the manager of a chain pub in Central London.

A few weeks ago, he's standing behind the bar when a guy comes up to him looking rather concerned.

– “Listen mate, this is gonna sound totally insane, but I’ve just gone for a piss in the urinal and I could’ve sworn I saw an eyeball looking up from the hole.”

– “I'm sorry?” my mate replies.

– “Not just an eyeball, but like, an eyebrow as well. And the eye was looking around.”

So the guy convinces him to let them have a look to put his mind at ease.

They both go to the toilets to check on the two adjoining rooms. As they go through the first door, they discover that the place is pretty much flooded with urine. My mate comments to the guy that obviously this is not usual.

Things get stranger still when they get to the door to the second back room, which is a fire exit and should be unlocked – it isn’t.

My friend gets his keys out to unlock the door, and as he begins doing so, a frantic scuffle begins behind the door.

As he attempts to push it open, the handle is ripped out of his hand and a dude comes charging out of the room, soaked head to toe in piss.

He charges both my friend and the customer (who are too shocked to react) out of the way, screaming, “I didn’t do anything!” as he goes.

By the time they regain their sense of reality, the guy has made his escape, leaving them to assess the scene of abject depravity he's left in his wake.

The plumbing for the urinal had been carefully removed and put to one side, leaving a hole in the masonry big enough for a head and shoulders to squeeze in. Tissue paper had been laid on the exposed brick-work to provide a comfortable head rest for what seemed to be a lengthy session of being pissed on. By men. In secret. In a pub belonging to pretty much the biggest pub chain in Britain. Oh, and did I mention the snorkel?

The police are called. Forensics scour the scene but no fingerprints can be found owing to the copious amounts of wee on every single surface.

I was told this story whilst incredibly stoned. I was utterly incredulous. I was even more incredulous when he showed me pictures of this makeshift piss dungeon on his phone, taken moments after the incident.

He said he was pretty disturbed by the fact that he had seen this utterly normal-looking middle-aged man at his lowest ebb. He had obviously done a recce on the place and put a fair amount of planning into finding, and locking himself into this room. All without arousing the suspicions of staff or punters before it was way too late.

There you go, then. Next time you go for a pee in a urinal, or anywhere for that matter, just remember that someone could be mere feet away bathing in your waste fluids.
Which of you weridos was it then? own up.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:27 pm
by wub

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:57 pm
by kidshuffle
good story. looks like buddy took good advantage of his friends club going under plumbing maintenance :cornlol:

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:08 pm
by jameshk
Didn't see it, besides i think this horrific story deserves its own thread haha.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:40 pm
by NilsFG
that is fucking grim

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:42 pm
by wub
NilsFG wrote:that is fucking grim

Depends what mood urine.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:11 pm
by Hircine
As long as he didn't wank, it's just trespassing.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:17 pm
by particle-jim
wub wrote:
NilsFG wrote:that is fucking grim

Depends what mood urine.
ba-dum tish!

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:24 pm
by wolf89
No-one's made a rubbish "dungeon sound" reference yet..

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:25 pm
by wubstep
There's this gay/swingers/fuck knows what bar in Old Market where this guy apparently has rigged up a urinal to the front of a wet suit and people piss in his general direction all night, fucking ingenious.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:45 pm
by badger
wub wrote:
NilsFG wrote:that is fucking grim

Depends what mood urine.
:repost:

http://www.dubstepforum.com/viewtopic.p ... 2#p2774622

:6:

but yeah that's fucking grim

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:50 pm
by dubfordessert
gonna stop browsing this forum whilst having my dinner.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:31 pm
by Kochari
wubstep wrote:There's this gay/swingers/fuck knows what bar in Old Market where this guy apparently has rigged up a urinal to the front of a wet suit and people piss in his general direction all night, fucking ingenious.
Which pub is this?!

...Purely out of scientific interest you know

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:32 pm
by wub
Kochari wrote:
wubstep wrote:There's this gay/swingers/fuck knows what bar in Old Market where this guy apparently has rigged up a urinal to the front of a wet suit and people piss in his general direction all night, fucking ingenious.
Which pub is this?!

...Purely out of scientific interest you know
The Efra.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:33 pm
by wolf89
wubstep wrote:There's this gay/swingers/fuck knows what bar in Old Market where this guy apparently has rigged up a urinal to the front of a wet suit and people piss in his general direction all night, fucking ingenious.
hahaha that's amazing

Don't understand the piss thing though what so ever though really. Just why?

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:54 pm
by NilsFG
wub wrote:
NilsFG wrote:that is fucking grim

Depends what mood urine.
I should take you round the barn and shoot you.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:11 pm
by Dead Rats
It's quite hard to make me feel sick, but fuck shit

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:31 pm
by kay
Dead Rats wrote:It's quite hard to make me feel sick, but fuck shit
That's probably in the pub next door.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:02 pm
by FuDuzn
Piss dungeon?......man these names people give all the dubstep sub genres is getting crazy.
wolf89 wrote:No-one's made a rubbish "dungeon sound" reference yet..
You're welcome.

Re: Piss dungeon in central london

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:03 pm
by wormcode
Is it bad I don't find this disturbing or crazy...

Except the pub part, drunk beerpiss is the most foul.

I'd probably freak out if I saw someone peering up at me from the toilet, but honestly I'd be more worried about them having installed a toilet cam than just them having a swim in piss.

Just another day on the internet.