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Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:18 pm
by Mortal
FUCKING tnuc THING!
motherfucking house spider crawling on my hand whilst browsing through the 'cats that look like producers' thread.
Needless to say i flew out of my chair, and flicked that motherfucker onto the floor.
Stared down the fucker, got nervous everytime it moved, and eventually plucked up the courage to bash that motherfucker with a pen.
Needless to say the shitty little thing is dead on my floor like it fucking should be.
although im too scared to go and get the hoover incase its not dead. shit.
FEELS LIKE THEYRE FUCKING EVERYWHERE MAN...PARANOID AS FUCK NOW
fuck spiders.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:21 pm
by BNanni
You show that spider! You show him who's boss, with a pen?
Man up and glass/cardboard it.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:23 pm
by wolf89
Just pick it up with your hands and take it outside fagggot
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:28 pm
by idontreallygiveashit
Haha, same shit happened to me last night. Im such a failure - there these two spiders above my bed in the morning but i left them there thinking they would go away. When i came back at night, they were still there. So i fashioned a scoop out of the back of a pukka pad and an empty tube of incense and i couldn't get them in the scoop and they barely moved. I really didn't want these things dropping on my bed and crawling into my mouth. Then i sort of just blew it, and it moved a few inches each time and it turned out one of the spiders was dead and in a cobweb. I managed to get the living one away from my bed and onto another wall. I was fine with that.
Left my bedroom this morning and it was on my door handle. Freaked out and just smashed the fucker.
I fail as a man.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:28 pm
by kirky
wolf89 wrote:Just pick it up with your hands and take it outside fagggot
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:30 pm
by Mortal
wolf89 wrote:Just pick it up with your hands and take it outside fagggot
oh yeah, why didn't i think of that?
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:35 pm
by kay
Mortal wrote:FUCKING tnuc THING!
motherfucking house spider crawling on my hand whilst browsing through the 'cats that look like producers' thread.
Needless to say i flew out of my chair, and flicked that motherfucker onto the floor.
Stared down the fucker, got nervous everytime it moved, and eventually plucked up the courage to bash that motherfucker with a pen.
Needless to say the shitty little thing is dead on my floor like it fucking should be.
although im too scared to go and get the hoover incase its not dead. shit.
FEELS LIKE THEYRE FUCKING EVERYWHERE MAN...PARANOID AS FUCK NOW
fuck spiders.
A PEN???!!!???? Surely there were far better things to bash something up than with a stabby pen?!?
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:39 pm
by Mortal
kay wrote:
A PEN???!!!???? Surely there were far better things to bash something up than with a stabby pen?!?
I had no time, it started to move!
without taking my eyes off it for too long, all i had to my disposal were my keys, laptop, some clothes and a pen...none of them really suitable for the job.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:41 pm
by BNanni
I'd have gone with the keys. If you're going to go stabby on a spider you want to get something with jagged edges. You can't do anything right can you?
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:43 pm
by kay
Mortal wrote:kay wrote:
A PEN???!!!???? Surely there were far better things to bash something up than with a stabby pen?!?
I had no time, it started to move!
without taking my eyes off it for too long, all i had to my disposal were my keys, laptop, some clothes and a pen...none of them really suitable for the job.
Well, in any case, you must have pretty good aim to be able to bash anything that small and fast with a stabby implement.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:48 pm
by pikeymobile
nah spiders are safe, i'll feed any i find in my house with dead flies
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:49 pm
by ch3
Don't kill spiders. It rains when you do.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:51 pm
by alphacat
Spiders rule. I have an understanding with them: they don't fuck with me and I don't kill them. In return, they can eat any other bugs they might happen to find in/around my house. Win-win.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:56 pm
by noam
yeh i generally leave them to roam, if they get too cocky, gettin in my face and my personal space, i dictate a few ground rules, let em know who's boss, and leave em be again
the last one who took a liking to my ceiling, i could see was pregnant, so i threw her in the bin
but before that, there was a precocious young upstart that paraded freely over my records, so i removed him from the pile, and launched him into a corner, where i believe, spiders belong, he didn't know it but it was good for him and he'll thank me one day
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:01 pm
by kay
ch3 wrote:Don't kill spiders. It rains when you do.
There's a drought over most of south england.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:02 pm
by meanmrcustard
I have no problems with spiders, but more embarrassingly I fucking hate moths and butterflies. I remember one once flew into my carriage when I was on the tube, I had to try so hard to keep my shit together in front of a packed train.
Just a couple of days ago I went to the cash machine and there was one on the screen, had to wait for the other ATM even though that one was free. I must've looked a right dick
I think it must stem from when I was a kid and had a run in with one of these fuckers:
Actually though, that said, there was a time that a FUCKING HUGE spider was in my house. It was so big you could hear it...scuttling on the wooden floors. Seriously, it took us a good 2 days to catch the fucker and kill it. For those 2 days me and my housemates pretty much played 'the floor is made of lava' in our living room (because we somehow forgot at the time that spiders could climb onto our sofas, or worse still, leave the living room). Eventually smashed that fucker with a yellow pages. It was kinda...gooey, like you could see, I dunno, guts? Do spiders have guts? Normally I leave spiders be though, or go for the old glass and news paper trick then out of the window.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:04 pm
by ch3
kay wrote:ch3 wrote:Don't kill spiders. It rains when you do.
There's a drought over most of south england.
You can always rain dance!
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 11:18 pm
by Mortal
BNanni wrote:I'd have gone with the keys. If you're going to go stabby on a spider you want to get something with jagged edges. You can't do anything right can you?
i was going for a bashing motion, enough to kill it and not make a mess...whilst the pen meant i had to go in close range and take 5 or 6 swipes before i hit, it was ultimately the best choice.
i'd like to have an 'understanding' with spiders. although i'd like it even more if they just didnt exist in my life.
they can exist, but theres no need for them to exist around me, as it results in me shitting myself, and them dying.
It's not good for anyone.
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:19 am
by ScarletCyanide
One of my tnuc friends decided to put a fuckin huge one on my face while I was passed out, needless to say I woke up, shit myself, killed the motherfucker and my mate, then ripped apart the whole house and got rid of every one
Re: Just had my first spider fright in a year...
Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:20 am
by ScarletCyanide
One of my tnuc friends decided to put a fuckin huge one on my face while I was passed out, needless to say I woke up, shit myself, killed the motherfucker and my mate, then ripped apart the whole house and got rid of every one of the tnucs