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"If you roll the chicken in the rice, it makes rice-covered chicken! See guys?"
"I drank the pepsi on top second!" (After putting two pepsi cans on top of each other"
"Fuck dude, look, I can't put on my hat"

"wouldn't it be great if whales were really little, and the swam through the air in our living room, and if you were really quiet, you could like, catch 'em?"

"you know you go deaf if you hear too much (too loud), do you go blind if you see too much; like two midgets riding mini-unicycles getting stuck in concrete - then getting run over by a lorry"

This thread delivers.

Well, this wasn't really me, but it was said about me: "Are you sure you can keep ahold of him? I mean, you've got a a high motherfucker on your hands."

"you know how much air is in a cookie? well besides the chocolate chips there is mad air through the cookie passing through it at any given time!"

"you want pussy, i want penis. we might aswell just try."

felixGash wrote:"you want pussy, i want penis. we might aswell just try."

WHAT?

I say some funny shit when im medicated. I don't remember em tho.

drksteppa wrote:I say some funny shit when im medicated. I don't remember em tho.

aw shame.

let's drink some bowls, and smoke some beers!

tminus wrote:let's drink some bowls, and smoke some beers!

dude thats the kinda shit that would get me laughing for days when im stoned!
when i was 18, me and my roomates would be broke as shit after we bought some weed. we made this bong out of an opld piece we had laying around, and then we got a milk carton and a cardboard paper towel tube... was quite possibly the sickest bong ever.

We had three chairs. an arm chair, a wheel chair, and an inflatable couch. we'd smoke, and just sit in the chairs quietly for like an hour. then smoke again. I loved just sitting there, not caring, and watching the ash on my cigarette get longer and longer... we'd have contests to see who could get the longest ash on their cig...

i mean, i was a fucking stupid lazy stoner, i cant get shit done when im high, but damn its fucking fun.

I've said 2 things that make me crease.

"I know more Internet abreviations than you."

"you may be fucking me up on halo. But I'd merk you if I had a mouse (computer)."

whilst watching a channel 4 news special on afgan...

me: "Wouldnt you like to live in a cave, like, away from everyone"

jake: "?" (mortified)

me: "nah but like say if you had a massive telly, all your games & your ps3"

jake: "yea, but no"

me: "alright say if you had a bud plant outside & endless skins..."

jake: "yea but thats not going to happen is it"

me: "i wish i was in a cave"

can I join your cave. We would make hot girls cook us food and ting.

gwa wrote:can I join your cave. We would make hot girls cook us food and ting.

Sounds great, you bring the birds, ill bring the burgers..

"death by diarrhea"

I wrote down a couple things one of my mates said while stoned on night, they had us laughing for what seemed like ages. They still make me smile now but i realise they are not that funny. more people should try recording a session like in "visions of cody"

my friends and i took videos of us smoking....basically laughing, talking shit, and me crossing my eyes a bit....like 6 years ago..

aww memories

Funniest joke in the world. especially when baked,
"mangoes in a fruit shop"