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I just saw a mate of mine playing out his tunes at the weekend in a laptop set. Cheeky bugger had it all pre-mixed as a wav, and had his screen split with a porn slideshow on the left and solitaire on the right! Bigging up the crowd when he dropped the cards!
I'm sure he's not the only one doing this sort of shit, so come on, get your confessions out!

dont worry

probably the clubowner noticed that or somebody else told him. The owner will tell it to other clubowners and he wont be booked anymore. Same fatality for Switch

porn and solitaire?? prob the only two apps on my computer that wud NEVER be open at the same time

Hehe, you know it!

The mixer fixer sounds familiar Depone At a really messy small night a few years ago i got a bj off my missus behind the decks. No one clocked a thing, i just put on a nice long track and cued up the next one

You don't have a GF, enjoy your hand...
Oh wait this aint /b/

Brisance wrote:You don't have a GF, enjoy your hand...
Oh wait this aint /b/

djing, watching porn and playin a game of solitaire is enough...never mind having a full on twok. must get bored VERY easily

By the way it was a joke, so no offence.

Na man, he wasn't actually cranking one out thank Fuck! I mean, there are limits. Not many, but some. How would he have held his beer anyway? By the way, for the record i don't approve of what he did, i just find it really funny! Personally i use Ableton and some synths etc. when playing out.

shitmat does some weird stuff on stage tbh.

surely you're only ruining for yourself though?

like, playing out is hella fun, even if there is no one there. If the system is louder than you get to play on at home, then it's all good.

But if you're just playing a mix you're not doing live, you're not really showcasing your ability too well are you, unless you want to show people how quickly you can complete a game of solitaire, then fair play.

Should have hooked the VGA out on his laptop up to a projector on the sly...

Non_Typical wrote:At a really messy small night a few years ago i got a bj off my missus behind the decks.)

Non_Typical wrote:he wasn't actually cranking one out thank Fuck! I mean, there are limits. Not many, but some. How would he have held his beer anyway? By the way, for the record i don't approve of what he did, i just find it really funny!

wat

L5D wrote:surely you're only ruining for yourself though?

like, playing out is hella fun, even if there is no one there. If the system is louder than you get to play on at home, then it's all good.

But if you're just playing a mix you're not doing live, you're not really showcasing your ability too well are you, unless you want to show people how quickly you can complete a game of solitaire, then fair play.

Should have hooked the VGA out on his laptop up to a projector on the sly...

Yeah man, I dunno why he cheated. Especially as I've actually seen him play PROPERLY live very well before!
He's a bit of a cock sometimes though anyway to be honest.

Didn't think of the VGA out at the time, but that would have been a winner!

Re: the BJ, the DJ booth was high up & segregated, & no-one clocked it
It was also my mate managing the club, & my night anyway, & I hired the security. The mix went down a treat (as did she) & everybody was happy
Obviously it was a time & place scenario, & I've never had it again boo hoo

By the way I started this thread as a bit of fun, so let's not get serious shall we, a few peeps? Obviously if you're not playing live you're not playing live, & the reason I posted this in the production thread was because we're all serious producers & could appreciate the cock-ery of it, but hopefully have a laugh too. I like laughing, it's fun.

So what other stupid club/party DJ stories are out there??? We've all seen 'em, & if you've not, then eeeeeeeeh, you've not lived lad!


Like some DJ I saw at a free party years ago, UTTERLY fucked, pissed himself while playing & just carried on as if nothing had happened.

Get 'em out then!

quite a few people do this.

I hate 'laptop sets' with a passion. I know people who get loads of bookings to play what they call now days 'live' and he is just playing som1's loops all sync'd up, wtf?

He cannot even fucking mix two records.

Thats right, I am bitter. I spent years mixing records and people come out of nowhere playing a bunch of shit fucking loops and get out there.

Serox wrote:quite a few people do this.

I hate 'laptop sets' with a passion. I know people who get loads of bookings to play what they call now days 'live' and he is just playing som1's loops all sync'd up, wtf?

He cannot even fucking mix two records.

Thats right, I am bitter. I spent years mixing records and people come out of nowhere playing a bunch of shit fucking loops and get out there.

Hmmm

I'm a vinyl lover, but some laptop warriors are pretty good!

Ableton sets are pretty sick, and can get amazingly tech also.

But then again there are the laptop warriors who are clueless as to what mixing actually is I guess...

L5D wrote:
Hmmm

I'm a vinyl lover, but some laptop warriors are pretty good!

Ableton sets are pretty sick, and can get amazingly tech also.

But then again there are the laptop warriors who are clueless as to what mixing actually is I guess...

True. I have seen some people make good use of software but watching some playing sync'd up wav/mp3 files is not for me.

I rem the days when I use to go see som1 play 'live' and he would bring a whole studio with him lol. You could see the effort and how much hard work was involved and I would appreciate it a lot more.

Serox wrote:

L5D wrote:
Hmmm

I'm a vinyl lover, but some laptop warriors are pretty good!

Ableton sets are pretty sick, and can get amazingly tech also.

But then again there are the laptop warriors who are clueless as to what mixing actually is I guess...

True. I have seen some people make good use of software but watching some playing sync'd up wav/mp3 files is not for me.

I rem the days when I use to go see som1 play 'live' and he would bring a whole studio with him lol. You could see the effort and how much hard work was involved and I would appreciate it a lot more.

Bass Clef ftw!

L5D wrote:

Serox wrote:

L5D wrote:
Hmmm

I'm a vinyl lover, but some laptop warriors are pretty good!

Ableton sets are pretty sick, and can get amazingly tech also.

But then again there are the laptop warriors who are clueless as to what mixing actually is I guess...

True. I have seen some people make good use of software but watching some playing sync'd up wav/mp3 files is not for me.

I rem the days when I use to go see som1 play 'live' and he would bring a whole studio with him lol. You could see the effort and how much hard work was involved and I would appreciate it a lot more.

Bass Clef ftw!

i remember seeing bass clef live about 3 years ago at a night in nottingham - he was playing a TRUMPET!