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collige wrote:

garethom wrote: but then just in the middle of his profile pictures is a picture of a tub of cherry Onken yoghurt with the description "Praise Allah this yoghurt is tasty".

Please upload a screenshot of this (with names crossed out of course).

Will get my searching hat on. Can't find him by name (must've changed it), I'll try and get to it through mutual friends.

Omg I just remembered. One day during class I went to the toilets to take a piss, so I stepped into the cubicle, closed the door, turned around and went !....
There were swastikas drawn on every single tile on the walls with a water proof marker. Literally every single tile from top to bottom on all 3 walls of the cubicle had a swastika on it.

So I went back to class and said to my mate "I think you should go to the toilets and have a look in the far right cubicle mate." Now it didn't take long before the teacher found out about it because my mate told a couple of other guys and suddenly all the other guys from our class were going to the toilets 1 at a time to check it out.
unfortunately we never found out who did it.

vishes wrote:Omg I just remembered. One day during class I went to the toilets to take a piss, so I stepped into the cubicle, closed the door, turned around and went !....
There were swastikas drawn on every single tile on the walls with a water proof marker. Literally every single tile from top to bottom on all 3 walls of the cubicle had a swastika on it.

So I went back to class and said to my mate "I think you should go to the toilets and have a look in the far right cubicle mate." Now it didn't take long before the teacher found out about it because my mate told a couple of other guys and suddenly all the other guys from our class were going to the toilets 1 at a time to check it out.
unfortunately we never found out who did it.

Well, if it wasn't the far right cubicle before, it certainly was after!

magma wrote:

vishes wrote:Omg I just remembered. One day during class I went to the toilets to take a piss, so I stepped into the cubicle, closed the door, turned around and went !....
There were swastikas drawn on every single tile on the walls with a water proof marker. Literally every single tile from top to bottom on all 3 walls of the cubicle had a swastika on it.

So I went back to class and said to my mate "I think you should go to the toilets and have a look in the far right cubicle mate." Now it didn't take long before the teacher found out about it because my mate told a couple of other guys and suddenly all the other guys from our class were going to the toilets 1 at a time to check it out.
unfortunately we never found out who did it.

Well, if it wasn't the far right cubicle before, it certainly was after!

fuck i just lost all of it

it was about people at work

I've worked at a place for people with disabilities and volunteered at a place with a guy that had a disability

there was a guy that would say "do you have a itch?" another guy would randomly say "your fired" and "you punk"

the guy i volunteered with was the weirdest he would task to himself and tell people he's getting a sex change

fergus222 wrote:

magma wrote:

vishes wrote:Omg I just remembered. One day during class I went to the toilets to take a piss, so I stepped into the cubicle, closed the door, turned around and went !....
There were swastikas drawn on every single tile on the walls with a water proof marker. Literally every single tile from top to bottom on all 3 walls of the cubicle had a swastika on it.

So I went back to class and said to my mate "I think you should go to the toilets and have a look in the far right cubicle mate." Now it didn't take long before the teacher found out about it because my mate told a couple of other guys and suddenly all the other guys from our class were going to the toilets 1 at a time to check it out.
unfortunately we never found out who did it.

Well, if it wasn't the far right cubicle before, it certainly was after!

Come on, thats a quality pun.

Kochari wrote:

fergus222 wrote:

magma wrote:

vishes wrote:Omg I just remembered. One day during class I went to the toilets to take a piss, so I stepped into the cubicle, closed the door, turned around and went !....
There were swastikas drawn on every single tile on the walls with a water proof marker. Literally every single tile from top to bottom on all 3 walls of the cubicle had a swastika on it.

So I went back to class and said to my mate "I think you should go to the toilets and have a look in the far right cubicle mate." Now it didn't take long before the teacher found out about it because my mate told a couple of other guys and suddenly all the other guys from our class were going to the toilets 1 at a time to check it out.
unfortunately we never found out who did it.

Well, if it wasn't the far right cubicle before, it certainly was after!

Come on, thats a quality pun.

Aye it is, no denying it.

Swastikas and cocks

we took apart a brick wall on the last couple of days of school and found a maths book behind it from 1982 with swastikas and penises covering every page.

Was good to see nothing had really changed.

danrev wrote:Swastikas and cocks

This is getting close to the reason that the assembly was called and the police came in.

you're teasing us, garethom

Ok. Right.

Bit of a backstory to this one. There was a kid in my sixth form who was an absolute, top snide. Definition of a snidey bastard. Anyway, he was the most racist fuck going, always slagging the black and white kids in Punjabi (thinking that we didn't know what he was saying, when his mate told us everything ) and then accusing everyone of racism when they complained. Anyway, he was a top dick, king of the foreskins.

So, the kids of Cockshut Hill Sixth Form are doing something to do with UCAS (it's a university applications system) and as I wasn't interested, I was just fucking around. Found a big rectangular piece of yellow card, so what better to do than draw a spongebob squarepants in full izan regalia, with a giant, curly 3D dick coming off it, and staple it to the door with a speech bubble saying "Spongebob says: Don't forget your UCAS deadlines". I must add that everybody in the room (of all races) was in full support of the spongebob (including the aforementioned dickhole, above) and we all laughed and it remained on the door.

Anyway, we had a weekly assembly on friday. All file into the hall, head of sixth form is looking pretty stoney faced, and there are two police officers (not community support, full on police officers) there. My mate starts creasing, it's obvious what they're there for, I'm just hoping it isn't. Anyway, the police start talking about "racist propaganda" that has been stuck around the school and that they are keeping it on file, classic scare story stuff. Despite everyone knowing it was me, and me struggling to keep a straight face at the absurdity of the situation, nothing happens. Friday comes, and I think, if I can stay clear of this until monday, it'll all blow over. Go into form on friday, usual form tutor is not there, but the head of sixth form instead.

I'm sat there, hoping that there's another reason he's here, bell goes for first lesson, just as I go to step out the room, he goes "Gareth, can I see you for a minute...". LONG. I just come straight out with it and go "Is this about the spongebob". He's like "Yeah. Why did you do it?". I go "Because it was funny. I'm guessing it was (AFOREMENTIONED DICKHOLE) that brought this up?". He goes "Yeah, it was. (Sarcastically) How did you know? Look, I know you're not racist, it was funny, he made a complaint to the police so we had to be seen doing something."

Anyway, situation came to a head when because I wasn't punished in anyway (fight the power), aforementioned dickhole accused the head of sixth (white guy) of being racist, so he just pulls out his wallet, flashes the picture of him with his nigerian wife, and his adopted bangladeshi kid and shuts him up.

And that's how the police came to school because of a spongebob with a footlong curly dick advising students to meet their uni application deadlines.

Lol gareth your head of sixth form sounds like a really top guy

Sonika wrote:Lol gareth your head of sixth form sounds like a really top guy

Yeah he was. Think he's still there, I left 4 years ago.

garethom wrote:...
And that's how the police came to school because of a spongebob with a footlong curly dick advising students to meet their uni application deadlines.

great story!

garethom wrote:

collige wrote:

garethom wrote:but then just in the middle of his profile pictures is a picture of a tub of cherry Onken yoghurt with the description "Praise Allah this yoghurt is tasty".

Please upload a screenshot of this (with names crossed out of course).

oh, i don't think onken would mind.

Quality thread! Sadly I can't contribute anything as nothing weird ever happened at my school

Rönin wrote:There was a kid who used to draw graves on the school tables with everyone's name on it, he filled a table with 22 graves with the names of everyone in the class, then he drew the teacher crucified. He was pretty good at it too

lol was he called Zeke Clough by any chance?

There was a kid who alway used to be proper weird at school. Had a phase of dressing like a cowboy during sixth form. I also remember him telling me he could kill me in 8 different ways using just his hands...
He ended up in the Sun for being a community police officer who had dressed up as hitman and posed with loads of replica guns. Always had seemed like the one person who could go mental and shoot a lot of people so just glad they were replicas really

garethom wrote:Anyway, he was a top dick, king of the foreskins.

Anyway, situation came to a head when because I wasn't punished in anyway (fight the power), aforementioned dickhole accused the head of sixth (white guy) of being racist, so he just pulls out his wallet, flashes the picture of him with his nigerian wife, and his adopted bangladeshi kid and shuts him up.

Camu wrote:

Rönin wrote:There was a kid who used to draw graves on the school tables with everyone's name on it, he filled a table with 22 graves with the names of everyone in the class, then he drew the teacher crucified. He was pretty good at it too

lol was he called Zeke Clough by any chance?

Ah! I wish... I was the only one in the class who would talk to him, tell him jokes and I remember his laugh was terrifying as well